Life's Outtakes

 My wife, Donna, was new to the orchestra she was playing in and wanted to make friends with everyone. She introduced herself to each person, and most were friendly and chatted with her. But the bassoonist didn’t so much as smile when Donna said hello. She just looked up, nodded, and turned back to her instrument.

As the weeks passed, Donna tried repeatedly to engage her in conversation, but to no avail. She eventually asked another member of her clarinet section about the young lady.

  “Oh, you mean Susan,” the other clarinetist replied. “I doubt you will ever get her to say much. I don’t think she has said three words to me in the five years I have been in the orchestra. She usually keeps to herself, and she doesn’t seem to want much to do with the rest of us.”

Donna didn’t want to give up. She knew what it felt like to be in a group, and yet not really feel part of it. She thought that maybe Susan felt that way, so she kept looking for the right subject; something that would get her to open up. Then, one day, she saw it. Susan had a new engagement ring on her finger.
“So, are you in a relationship?” Donna asked.

For the first time Susan looked up and smiled. “Oh, yes! And it’s wonderful!”
“How long have you known each other?”

 Susan paused for a moment to think. “Let’s see. It would be around ten years now. It is hard to believe it has been that long.”

“Wow!” Donna replied. “That’s quite a while.”
“Yes, but it has been the best ten years of my life. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.”
“Is he good to you?” Donna asked.

“Yes, he is the best. In fact, I would have to say he is the best friend I have ever had. He responds to my every whim, and does just what I want him to.”

“What’s his name?” Donna queried further, wondering if she might know him.
“I call him Bob.”
“You call him Bob?”

 “Yes. It is short for Robert. Robert is a little too long.”
Donna nodded. “Bob is a nice name.”
“Yeah, I like it. It is easy to remember. My last one was Theodore. Even shortened to Teddy it was just too long. Bob is much nicer”

“So what do the two of you like to do together?”
“Most of the time we like to play Bach’s Sonata in G. But sometimes, when we feel adventurous, we try the minute waltz.” Susan laughed. “If you think that is tough on a clarinet, you ought to try it on a bassoon. It’s more like the two minute hoedown.”

They both laughed. Susan seemed to love to talk about Bob. And Donna wanted to keep her talking, hoping others in the orchestra would join in the conversation and make Susan really feel part of them.
“So where is he from?”

“He’s from Brazil.”
“Brazil? That is quite a ways away.”
“Yes,” Susan answered. “But he is definitely worth it.” She then hugged her bassoon tightly to her. “Bob is the best bassoon in the world.”

 Donna’s shock must have been evident, because when Susan quit embracing Bob, she paused. She looked at Donna’s face, and realized Donna was looking at the new ring.

Susan’s face flushed red. “Oh,” she said, holding up her hand with the engagement ring. “You were talking about this, weren’t you?”
Donna nodded.

 “Well,” Susan said, “his name is John, and I guess he’s okay.”